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“If there’s a pattern of delays, excuses, or anger when it comes to this subject, think twice about staying in the relationship,” says Watson.

Once he takes his mind off it, he might find that he’s able to get it up or control how soon he comes.

If you’re not able to home in on what’s causing the PE or ED, and his doctor says it’s not physical, you could consider seeing a sex therapist, says Watson. But ultimately, he’s the only one who can get help.

There are some lifestyle or psychological factors that you can help him address. “Porn keeps raising the bar of stimulation, meaning that men need a higher stimulus to get off because it’s what they’re getting used to,” says Morse.

For instance, is he regularly drinking before you have sex? “Tell him—nicely—that if he backs off or takes a break, it could help your sex life.” Also, if you’re fighting in other areas of life, it could be spilling over into bed, says Watson.

Premature ejaculation, on the other hand, is when a guy can’t stop himself from ejaculating shortly after penetration.

Some sources estimate that 20 to 30 percent of men might struggle with PE at some point or another (the condition can come and go).Her goal is to help people change the way they feel about what they’re feeling, and to recognize that the stories they tell themselves “I work with people who know they ‘should’ feel confident, but secretly worry that the reason they don’t have a partner is that there is something wrong with them,” she tells me.“I think romantic relationships are the perfect nexus of everything that holds us back in life: social conditioning, patriarchy, family patterns, our desires for human connection, our fears of rejection, and our stories about ourselves and our potential.”After taking a step back from my feelings, I realized that my dating-related anxieties — the stress of keeping someone interested, but seeming fun enough, all while maintaining enough distance to be alluring, for example — put my emotions in the hands of my date.It may feel cheesy, but sometimes putting pen to paper is surprisingly effective, and the repetition can help cement what you know to be true, even if you don’t always Kara says brains are pattern-making machines.“We know from neuroscience and psychology research that the brain sees what it looks for.To be clear: I’m talking about being with a guy who struggles with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

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