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You must take all the time necessary to truly get to know a potential spouse and his or her family thoroughly before making decisions that will significantly affect the lives of everyone concerned.
It’s best to wait at least two years after a divorce or the death of a spouse to start dating again, and then to wait at least another two years after dating before deciding to get married.
Don’t give into fear-based practices such as living with the person you’re dating before marriage (or staying over at each other’s houses).
Instead, trust God to give you the courage to either truly commit to each other through marriage or walk away if you’re not right for each other. Reassure your kids that your dating won’t diminish your love, presence, and commitment in your relationships with them.
Keep in mind that the loss of your previous marriage has permanently changed you and your kids, but those changes can result in you all growing to become stronger people who are more like Jesus.
Surrender your own will for your dating life to God and trust Him to lead you as you consider new dating relationships.
Some common fears for single parents who are dating are: losing their connections to their kids, causing their kids pain, not being able to blend their families well, choosing a poor candidate for a new spouse, having their ex-spouses make their lives miserable, and being spiritually judged.
Confess whatever your own fears are to God and ask for His help to move beyond them, through the power of love.In addition, consider the attitudes and behaviors of the person’s children, and the entire package of that person’s life (such as the state of his or her finances and relationships with extended family). Noticing certain issues in your dating relationship should get your attention.You need to put a stop to your dating relationship if the person you’re dating: doesn’t have a relationship with Christ, is pressuring you to get married before you’re ready to do so, has an extremely different approach to parenting than you do, is addicted to alcohol or drugs, demands to be the center of attention all the time, can’t stop his or her ex-spouse from interfering in your life in damaging ways, or wants to live with you before marriage.Instead of looking for the right person to date, first focus on becoming the spiritually and emotionally healthy person that God wants you to be before entering into another romantic relationship.Honestly ask yourself whether or not you’ve healed from the trauma of your divorce or previous spouse’s death, how confident you are in relying on God alone instead of hoping that dates will meet your emotional needs, and how vulnerable you are to being drawn into romantic fantasies that distort the reality of relationships.SEE ALSO: Ghost Whispers: When Past Relationships Haunt You Pray for wisdom.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating