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But even more important, if your grandma is operating by a wedding invitation etiquette playbook you’ve deemed irrelevant, you might end up hurting her feelings when you really want to thrill and delight her. That said, there is a lot of wedding invitation etiquette that just hasn’t been updated to make sense in the current world of weddings.

So let’s, once and for all, go over the rules—as they were once and as they are now.

There are a lot of emotions involved in weddings, and wedding invitation etiquette is at the top of the list.

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So here is the hard and fast rule: you should address people by the names they actually use. (…And that’s why we need feminism.) While it can be fun to get visually creative with your wedding invitations, you don’t want to get creative with communicating the information, because well, you want people to come.

If you want a deep dive on smart and proper (kinda feminist) wedding invitation wording, you can check out the #APWplanner. While we’ve gone in depth on wedding invitation wording in the past, the real key is just to remember to legibly communicate who, what, where, and when.

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Save-the-dates are a relatively new invention (Don’t believe me?

Ask your parents if they had them.), which means there is a refreshing (or confusing) lack of formal wedding invitation etiquette surrounding them. It’s handy to provide significant advance notice to guests. Downloaded songs will work on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc. You can download them for unlimited number of times.If you’re sending out save-the-dates, putting your wedding website on them can be a helpful way to give guests a better feeling for what your wedding will look like (and encourage them to buy plane tickets, if you’re holding off on sending official invites till a few weeks out).When you send out your formal invitation, it’s helpful to include the wedding website information again. So in short, make the RSVP date at least a week earlier than the date you need to give your caterer a final head count, since you may spend that week calling around and chasing answers.But only spend cash money on save-the-dates if you really want to. Sure, you can send out notes saying you called it all off and went to the courthouse with your families.

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