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The Chicago resident says that when he tells single moms about his children, they’re less inclined to pursue the relationship.“Black women can have kids, but when it comes to the man coming into the relationship with kids, they don’t want to deal with it,” he said.

But Michael Haynes, a 31-year-old single father of three, says it isn’t any easier.

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Calumet City resident Roosevelt Shivers finds dating challenging because he says it’s hard to find someone who is loyal and honest. The 40-year-old hasn’t been in a relationship in two years.

He says, “It’s harder to find that because a lot of women still play games.” Now his mindset is: “If it happens, it happens.”Ventura, Calif.-based dating coach Dr.

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I let one man take my 20s, another man take my 30s, so I think that I have to be a little bit strategic in my 40s.”Bridgette Gordon, 48, of Lansing, thinks traditional courting has been replaced with “a la carte” online dating.

I could not imagine that it had anything to do with the $4.50 valet charge. You know, the ones like he has to work out six times a week for you to even consider a date.

I once went out with a guy who drove around for twenty minutes looking for a parking space on the street, even though we were already half an hour late for our dinner reservations.

“Other races date for six or seven months, and then they get married. I find, in the black community, a man will date you for 10-15 years and never marry you.

Recent data suggest that, at all ages, black Americans have lower marriage rates than other racial and ethnic groups. Michelle Williams, 43, of Carpentersville, has been single for two years and says it’s harder to date in the 40-something group “because you kind of know what you want, and it’s not necessarily presented to you.”“What separates our community from others is I feel other races date with a purpose,” Williams said.

One of her methods: informing singles that lists of expectations should be thrown out in favor of blueprints with preferences and values that are negotiable and non-negotiable.

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