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Simply announcing, 'I'm attracted to you, are you attracted to me? "It works much better to reveal this and have it revealed to you in smaller doses," explains Gangestad.

"The flirting then becomes something that enhances the attraction." It is an axiom of science that traits and behaviors crucial to survival-such as anything to do with attraction and sex-require, and get, a lot of an animal's resources.

If you like this guy, go with what seems to be working best with him – give him space and let him put the effort in.

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The majority of these issues could be resolved by just doing what you did – backing off, giving the guy some space and letting him come to you and put in the effort.

Too often I see girls smothering or nagging a guy when he doesn’t do what they want him to.

"Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction," observes Steven W. D., an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque who is currently studying how people choose their mates.

"Two people have to share with each other the information that they are attracted, and then test each other" on an array of attributes.

The capacity of men and women to flirt and to be receptive to flirting turns out to be a remarkable set of behaviors embedded deep in our psyches.

Long trivialized and even demonized, flirtation is gaining new respectability thanks to a spate of provocative studies of animal and human behavior in many parts of the world.

However, you mentioned that he shows more of an effort when you “care less”, so I would say that if that’s what works, why not hang back and let him put in the effort.

When it comes to people, it doesn’t matter what you think people should respond to – it only matters what they actually do respond to.

What eventually got these two strangers from across the fabled crowded room to each other's side was what does it for all of us-in a word, flirtation, the capacity to automatically turn our actions into sexual semaphores signaling interest in the opposite sex as predictably and instinctively as peacocks tan their tails, codfish thrust their pelvic fins or mice twitch their noses and tilt their backs to draw in the object of their attention.

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